Nathan
“Are you in love with me?”
The question had caught Phil off guard. It had been a struggle for him to come to terms with his sexuality, and it had held him back throughout all of high school and college. But after a few closeted relationships, Phil had realized what he had been missing out on. Gay sex was fun! He liked how men touched him, and how they treated him. He’d never considered himself attractive, but apparently other guys found that lack of cockiness as enticing. He assumed being tall and having a little muscle was enough to do the trick, but not being too straight- or gay-appearing made him an even middle that proved to be reliable.
So, after a lot of measured planning and self-esteem talks in the mirror, Phil decided he was finally ready to come out. It would be a slow and painful process, but he made a list of who he wanted to talk to first before spreading the news more publicly. Nathan, his childhood best friend, was at the top of that list. He believed that if he could tell anyone without having any chance of repercussions, it would be Nathan. And Phil was right–Nathan took the news well. He nodded, smiled, and then asked the question.
“Am I…what?” Phil laughed.
“I mean this whole time, have you been in love with me?”
Phil sat up straight in his chair, not believing what he was hearing. Was he really about to have this discussion with his best friend?
“You know, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I love you.”
Nathan shook his head, “No, I think you are. And I can prove it too.”
Phil didn’t know what to do other than take the bait. “Fine, do it.”
“Well, you like men for starters,” Nathan kicked up a foot onto the table they were seated at.
“Great start, man, great start.”
Nathan continued. “I’m assuming you like more masculine-appearing men.”
Phil shrugged, placing his arms on the table. That was just assuming because he didn’t like women.
“You’re into men around your age, the closer the better.”
Phil considered this, realizing he had only been men close to his age.
“You like men based on their personalities, not just looks. You don’t do hookups.”
Phil laughed at that, propping his head on his hands as he leaned in closer to the table. But then again, Nathan did have a point. He had only had sex with men after getting to know them a bit.
“Trust is a big thing for you, especially because you’re so vulnerable.”
Phil wasn’t vulnerable! Sure, he was kind of short and skinny but that didn’t necessarily make him an easy target. Well, in high school and college it did. He supposed he could be pretty sensitive too.
“You like men who can protect you.”
Phil nodded at that while leaning a little further onto the table. When you were small like he was, feeling safe was a huge thing for him. And a huge turn-on.
“And of course, you want guys who are accepting of your more…let’s say flamboyant nature.”
Phil wanted to stop Nathan at that borderline homophobic remark, but he didn’t. Phil was guilty of having limp wrists and popping his leg. He also had a closet filled with every color of the rainbow, half of the items not even covering the parts of the body they were meant to. And his lisp. Yeah, his lisp was pretty effeminate, and when he got loud it was worse.
“The physical qualities of the man are very important to you too.”
Phil didn’t think he was that shallow…was he?
“You like a man who’s taller than you, more muscular than you, hairier and muskier than you. You like that masculine flavor.”
Phil could smell something funny. That last statement was all on the nose, but he realized that unfortunately those qualifications could all technically apply to his best friend. He could also literally smell something funny, and that odor was all he could really think of.
“Nathan,” Phil stopped, his light voice firm. “Juth becauth you’re match thethe qualitieth doethn't mean I love you.”
Nathan just smiled a toothy grin, holding on to his leg as he presented a meaty Size 13 sole to his best friend.
“Sniff.”
Phil didn’t think twice as he moved his head a little farther forward to inhale. The intense infatuating foot funk lifted Phil to the heavens, leaving behind any doubt or basic reasoning that could make him believe what he had felt all the years wasn’t respect, admiration, and love. When the odor had finally covered his entire being, all that was left was a devout, enamored shell.
Somehow cockier than before, Nathan popped the question one more time.
“Yeth!” Phillip exclaimed. “I’ve been in love with you ever thince we met! You’re so manly and kind and incredible and caring and handsome and-”
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down their buddy,” Nathan placed a hand on Phillip’s shoulder, delighted to see the blush flood the other man’s cheeks. “Just because you're gay doesn't mean you love me.”
“How can I prove it?” Phillip questioned.
“Well, you know my big, manly feet have been killing me-” Phillip was massaging Nathan's soles in moments, his delicate fingers kneading the meat carefully. Nathan laid back in the chair, merrily thinking of more ways his best friend could prove to him what he already knew.